Staring wide-eyed at each other in sheer shock, standing in a dark parking lot with the cold drizzle of the rain blowing across my sister and myself is a memory I’ll never forget. It was like a really bad dream.
I remember hugging my friend later and whispering in her ear what had put me and my sister into such a state of disbelief. The stark memory of tucking my 8 year old baby girl in bed that same night, while holding her tighter than ever, wondering how in the world I was going to stay in this world with her, is by far the most vivid, painful memory I have.
THREE DAYS BEFORE..
..I’d had enough of an irregular heartbeat that I went to the ER. Being so busy as a single mom, working 35 miles from home, and being determined to drop off and pick my daughter up from school was surely the reason I didn’t feel good or have energy. I was stressed. That’s all. School drop-off at 7:30, pick-up at 3:30, work AND a 70 mile drive in between, plus trying to cook healthy for us was taxing. I was also a few years into my forties! Made perfect sense.
Or, so I thought.
I wasn’t afraid at the ER. I just wanted to get out of there because I had a lot to do! Finally, they said I needed to see a specialist. Oh shoot. A cardiologist. This might be serious. Not a cardiologist they said. Hmmm. Ok, then what the heck? The doctor came in and flat out said my kidneys were failing. Wait….what??? Everything sort of went blurry then, but I remember bits and pieces of: a nephrologist, an appointment in SIX weeks, blah blah blah. I was outta there in one flash, can I tell you?!? There was no need for them to try to fit me in at their earliest because I was not going back there. Ever.
Never tell me I have failing organs and then dismiss me for SIX weeks. Click To TweetOf course, I had a friend and my sister there, and before the end of that ER visit, they were scared out of theirs wits. So, I may have checked out (more like blacked out) for the next hour or so but I do remember making an appointment at another hospital with a nephrologist that could see me in 2 days!
My daughter stayed at my friend’s house (the friend from the ER) for the appointment with the nephrologist and my sister came along with me. She’d already become glued to my side, and that was perfectly fine by me! The receptionist assured us my tests results had arrived from the ER of the other hospital and had been reviewed by the doctor. She put us in a regular 4-walled nondescript room…not an exam room or office.
The doctor walks in, introduces himself, states the fact that I will need a kidney transplant and basically…just walks out.
I remember he never sat down. I think he was even behind one of those lecture stand thingy’s, probably had my records on it. My sister said “Hey!” quite loudly, as he headed toward the door, and he turned around.
“What am I supposed to do?” was my question. He said he wanted me to make an appointment with him in the next few weeks and we’d take it from there. Nonchalantly mentioned dialysis, a list and other random words that put fear in both of us. He just wanted to meet me today and tell me where we were headed. I knew exactly where I was headed.
Straight out his door!
And, that’s what lead me and my sister to be standing in the cold drizzling rain, staring at each other like there was a train headed straight at us.
Unexpected Layer revealed.
CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT Kidney Interrupted POST!